The Joy of Being Selfish: Why you need boundaries and how to set them
- Downloads：9426
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-04-05 06:51:40
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Michelle Elman
- ISBN：1787395979
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
Is your friendship group constantly filled with drama？
Does your boss make constant unreasonable demands？
Do you find yourself saying 'yes' to people and events to keep those around you happy？
Do you often find yourself emotionally exhausted and physically drained？
If so， you need a strong dose of boundaries。
It's time to discover the joy being selfish。 Putting the needs of everyone around us before our own is ingrained in us from a young age。 Often， this leaves us with little time or energy for much-needed self-love and self-care， and to figure out who we truly are and what we really want。 Life coach and influencer '@scarrednotscared' Michelle Elman is here to teach you about reclaiming your life through the art of boundaries。 The practical side of self-love， creating and upholding strong boundaries will teach others how to treat you， rid your life of drama and toxic relationships and allow you to love yourself and others in the best way possible。
Does your boss make constant unreasonable demands？
Do you find yourself saying 'yes' to people and events to keep those around you happy？
Do you often find yourself emotionally exhausted and physically drained？
If so， you need a strong dose of boundaries。
It's time to discover the joy being selfish。 Putting the needs of everyone around us before our own is ingrained in us from a young age。 Often， this leaves us with little time or energy for much-needed self-love and self-care， and to figure out who we truly are and what we really want。 Life coach and influencer '@scarrednotscared' Michelle Elman is here to teach you about reclaiming your life through the art of boundaries。 The practical side of self-love， creating and upholding strong boundaries will teach others how to treat you， rid your life of drama and toxic relationships and allow you to love yourself and others in the best way possible。
Reviews
Rosemary Froeliger
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I can see this book being one of those that I go back to again and again and rereading snippets based on what I need at the time。
Julia
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Fijn om te lezen wanneer je het gevoel hebt dat je het kan gebruiken。 Heb zeker een aantal inzichten op gedaan en dingen geleerd die ik wel wil gaan toepassen。 Leuk （en handig） hoe alles heel concreet wordt gemaakt met voorbeelden en soort oefeningen die je kan doen als je wil。 Echt zo’n boek waar je wel even zin in moet hebben omdat het ook confronterend（？） kan zijn en je soms gewoon liever een roman leest haha。
Cate Ginsberg
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Wish I had found this book sooner。
Jesse JP
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I really didn’t love this book， although admittedly I am probably not it’s key audience as I have actively been practicing boundary setting for a number of years。 It has a practical focus; it is packed full of examples， and has useful tidbits in it。 Overall， I agree with the sentiments the author was promoting。 But I also feel that a lot of the content breezes very lightly over topics I have dug into much more deeply with a psychologist， and I feel like without that context some of the points ar I really didn’t love this book， although admittedly I am probably not it’s key audience as I have actively been practicing boundary setting for a number of years。 It has a practical focus; it is packed full of examples， and has useful tidbits in it。 Overall， I agree with the sentiments the author was promoting。 But I also feel that a lot of the content breezes very lightly over topics I have dug into much more deeply with a psychologist， and I feel like without that context some of the points are ideas articulated in this book were poorly explained or not given enough attention。 Should you read this book？ I think it would be wiser to seek out therapy or at least psychology backed books rather than get advice from an influencer。 But， if you struggle to set boundaries this book serves as a good entry point…just don’t rely on it exclusively to address why you might struggle with boundaries in the first place。 。。。more
Amelie Haupt
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It was so liberating to put boundaries with my parents and my work！Just amazing how much easier and more awesome life can be。Thanks， Michelle， for inspiring me and everyone else to stand up for themselves！
Chloe C
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This book solidified my understanding of boundaries and was a really good refresher。 I've had lots of therapy （including therapy that was mixed with coaching） and there were still a few tools the author talks about that I hadn't heard of before that I found really useful and started using straight away。I've knocked a star off because I wasn't a fan of the tough love language that cropped up occasionally， nor some of the "shoulds" in the book。 For example， the author talks about how many friends This book solidified my understanding of boundaries and was a really good refresher。 I've had lots of therapy （including therapy that was mixed with coaching） and there were still a few tools the author talks about that I hadn't heard of before that I found really useful and started using straight away。I've knocked a star off because I wasn't a fan of the tough love language that cropped up occasionally， nor some of the "shoulds" in the book。 For example， the author talks about how many friends of different levels of closeness someone should have and that just can't be the same for everyone。 。。。more
Karlan
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It was a good book full of examples on how to set boundaries。 I can't say that I got some life altering insights though。 Maybe that's a good thing， maybe I already knew more about boundaries then I initially suspected。 It was a good book full of examples on how to set boundaries。 I can't say that I got some life altering insights though。 Maybe that's a good thing， maybe I already knew more about boundaries then I initially suspected。 。。。more
Magda
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When you stop striving to be seen as a good wife， friend， employee， mother or daughter， it gives you permission to realize that you are a good person not because of what you can give or provide， but because of who you are。Když já mám pro Michelle Elman takovou slabost。 Všichni povinně na její Instagram + podcast。
Sophia
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An essential read。 I've learnt so much on setting and respecting boundaries and it's a book I'll refer to again。 Chapters include types of boundaries and the fear of setting them， and setting boundaries in different contexts （workplace， romantic relationships， friendships， family， on timekeeping & on emotional dumps）。 An essential read。 I've learnt so much on setting and respecting boundaries and it's a book I'll refer to again。 Chapters include types of boundaries and the fear of setting them， and setting boundaries in different contexts （workplace， romantic relationships， friendships， family， on timekeeping & on emotional dumps）。 。。。more
Kialynne
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I had this on audio but I had to learn how to bookmark audio clips as I listened。 I think I'm going to need a physical copy to go back and highlight things。 I had this on audio but I had to learn how to bookmark audio clips as I listened。 I think I'm going to need a physical copy to go back and highlight things。 。。。more
Catherine Rivas
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Maybe better if you are 25 years old or younger。 Not for me。。。
Love Books
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This book helped me a lots！ I never knew the reason why I was constantly hurt from relationship is because I am did't know how to set boundaries。 I really love this book， it provides practical advise of setting boundaries from different aspects of life - friendship， family， romantic life and even at workplace！I love the author constantly remind us on self-love and at the same time learn to communicate， after-all it is not about being "selfish" but nourishing healthier relationship in our life wi This book helped me a lots！ I never knew the reason why I was constantly hurt from relationship is because I am did't know how to set boundaries。 I really love this book， it provides practical advise of setting boundaries from different aspects of life - friendship， family， romantic life and even at workplace！I love the author constantly remind us on self-love and at the same time learn to communicate， after-all it is not about being "selfish" but nourishing healthier relationship in our life without hurting ourselves and other people。 Thank you so much Michelle ！ Looking for more good works from you！ 。。。more
Anjuna Harper
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Blow my socks off my boundaries are a lot worse than I thought
Ivana Kumice Čitaju
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Odlična knjiga。 Za ovu knjigu sam odlučila koristiti markere，tako da trčim u dućan po boje。 Knjiga je toliko dobro napisana i iskrena da ćete svako malo klimati glavom i reći 'e upravo to！ Ima u njoj i vježbi。 Samo treba biti hrabar i reći neke stvari na glas，a to je ono što dosta nas treba naučiti。 Odlična knjiga。 Za ovu knjigu sam odlučila koristiti markere，tako da trčim u dućan po boje。 Knjiga je toliko dobro napisana i iskrena da ćete svako malo klimati glavom i reći 'e upravo to！ Ima u njoj i vježbi。 Samo treba biti hrabar i reći neke stvari na glas，a to je ono što dosta nas treba naučiti。 。。。more
Vicky
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Excellent read with some really insightful and helpful ideas。
Julia
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A great handbook to setting and enforcing boundaries-and a great reminder that it’s not mean to know and communicate what you want and need！
Grace
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Before I even finished this book I was recommending it left and right。 I love this book so much and it’s one of the only self help books that I really feel has actually helped me。
Linda
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This book is fantastic。 It has very clever insights into the art of setting personal boundaries and the detrimental effects of living without boundaries。 It's helped me reflect on my previous and current relationships and has given insights on why certain relationships have failed。 Some key insights I've taken away from the book: - If you don't speak up and set boundaries， you'll live a life of resentment - You can't control how others will react， but you can control what type of relationship yo This book is fantastic。 It has very clever insights into the art of setting personal boundaries and the detrimental effects of living without boundaries。 It's helped me reflect on my previous and current relationships and has given insights on why certain relationships have failed。 Some key insights I've taken away from the book: - If you don't speak up and set boundaries， you'll live a life of resentment - You can't control how others will react， but you can control what type of relationship you will allow in your life - You need to take responsibility for meeting your own needs 。。。more
Chiara Bambara
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Queen of boundaries indeed！Truly a life changing book！ Learn to express your needs compassionately and assertively through this book。 Michelle teaches you how to communicate boundaries and why they are critical for fostering the best relationships， especially the relationship with yourself。
Jacalyn
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I already love the information Michelle shares on social media so I knew I would enjoy her book！ It's packed with such valuable information that covers boundaries with work， family， friends and other relationships。 Even if you have healthy boundaries in place， would recommend。 I already love the information Michelle shares on social media so I knew I would enjoy her book！ It's packed with such valuable information that covers boundaries with work， family， friends and other relationships。 Even if you have healthy boundaries in place， would recommend。 。。。more
Sofia Zavoli
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After reading “Am I Ugly？” I had a lot of expectations about this book。 At first I thought I wasn't enjoying it， but then I actually sat down to read it and I realized I was wrong。 This is not the kind of book you read ‘casually’， you need to pay attention to actually understand & learn from it。 Self-help and/or advice books are not usually my thing， but I believe this is the exception。 It was easy to read and understand it as well， I could imagine Michelle saying all those things to me。 It was After reading “Am I Ugly？” I had a lot of expectations about this book。 At first I thought I wasn't enjoying it， but then I actually sat down to read it and I realized I was wrong。 This is not the kind of book you read ‘casually’， you need to pay attention to actually understand & learn from it。 Self-help and/or advice books are not usually my thing， but I believe this is the exception。 It was easy to read and understand it as well， I could imagine Michelle saying all those things to me。 It was exactly the book I needed at this time of my life。 I read it on Scribd but I’m definitely buying a copy。 This is the kind of book I know I’ll need to revisit from time to time。I need more books from Michelle。 。。。more
Lise
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For me personally， this book has been life changing。 It helped me tremendously with believing that setting boundaries is nothing awfully selfish but really just a necessary good， for both yourself and all the people in your life。 It makes you realise that you are important enough to have your needs and that they are important， even if other people don’t understand them。 You deserve to have those needs and can set boundaries to protect them。 I have never been able to communicate my emotions and n For me personally， this book has been life changing。 It helped me tremendously with believing that setting boundaries is nothing awfully selfish but really just a necessary good， for both yourself and all the people in your life。 It makes you realise that you are important enough to have your needs and that they are important， even if other people don’t understand them。 You deserve to have those needs and can set boundaries to protect them。 I have never been able to communicate my emotions and needs freely， especially in romantic relationships， but have done it multiple times since reading this book， and it is helping me immensely。 Without a doubt one of the most important books I read in my life。 。。。more
LeeAnn
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Parts of this book were really well-written and easy to follow。Parts of this book were also a bit rambling and disconnected。I particularly liked the workbook format， and I would recommend this book for a small group study。 There is， in reality， a lot of helpful information inside the covers of this book。
kristy
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Essential reading for anyone who’s re-parenting themselves rn
Louise Mcginley
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Great book on boundariesSomething we need to be reminded that we matter too and our needs should come first！ This is where boundaries come in， Michelle teaches you how to do just that。
Sonja Grönqvist
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Michelle Elmans impressive body positivity content on social media made me interested in this book， but it didn’t got that deep into boundaries issues as I hoped。 Especially it hits me that the book is written for young adults without out real responsibilities。 This is obviously that group following Michelle online， but the book cover doesn’t suggest this in anyway。 The book is not bad，just quite shallow and not what I was looking for。
Alice McQuade
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A 3。5On admission probably should be a 4 but I find the writing very blunt and clearly still find setting boundaries uncomfortable 😂
Victoria Schmid
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Another fantastic book from Michelle！ I think I will need to read it again to fully soak up everything， but it was a great easy read。 I’d recommend having a pen and paper with you while reading。
Ellen
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3。5-4
Samantha Politano
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